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Monday, July 11, 2005
Here I am ... OI !! Here i am

A man named as a prime suspect in the London bombings and alleged to be on the run cannot actually run anywhere following an operation on his leg. Furthermore he has never been involved in terrorism, has never been questioned about terrorism  and condemns the attacks. Oh, but he IS a Muslim with a terrorist sounding name ... DOH !!
Several British newspapers reported that anti-terrorism officers were hunting for Mohammed el Guerbozi, who was "alleged to be hiding in France after disappearing from his north London home a year ago".
In fact Mr Guerbozi read these newspaper reports at his Kilburn flat and rang a local police station in London on Saturday to volunteer himself as available for any interview if so required. He was put on "hold" for so long that he finally put the phone down.
Far from being on the run from the British authorities over the past year, he was treated in March by the NHS for a leg complaint at St Mary's hospital, in London and can hardly walk.
At the time of the London bombings he was voicing his opposition to Morocco's (where he left as a teenager in 1974) government LIVE on a British TV channel !
Despite not leaving Britain in those 31 years he has also been linked to the Madrid bombings.
Mr Guerbozi said he had twice been seen by MI5 officers, following earlier newspaper allegations (and has remained at the same address as when interviewed) "I've never been in trouble with the police."  "Until my operation I worked full-time as a cook. I condemn the terrorists, the victims were people going to work, it could have been me, my friends or relatives".

Posted at 01:33 pm by Rags        click here to rate me highly on BlogHop
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Sunday, July 03, 2005
The book of life

I invited Bono and Sir Bob round for a few drinks yesterday to wach Live8 on the TV, but they were busy doing something else. So i invited Noel Gallagher and Damon Albarn instead, they declined (again). In the end I went on my own long walk to justice to the pub instead.
In the pub, on the table, was a book. A book entitled "100 Ways To Get Through Tomorrow" by Karen Fincher. Someone had left it open at page 142 with relevent parts underlined. I sat and read.... slowly taking in the words, each individual pearl of wisdom jumping straight from the page through my consciousness into my very being.
I sat, I thought, I even cried a little.
There, in simple words, was my whole life. My whole life summed up on one devastatingly honest brutally stark page.
I have no idea who left the book there, or why, but i tore the page out and now keep it close to my heart. Hopefully it will deflect the silver bullets.

Sunday's RagTags (back by popular demand, ho hum)
<<<< in their lifetime everyone will be Hitler for 15 minutes
<<<< work work work you "cut sharp" boys
<<<< i never realised how many volleyball players i'd been out with
<<<< sparkler fun (especially safe for the under 5's)
<<<< stop that !! your fingers will drop off !!!

Far from challenging the G8’s role in Africa’s poverty, Geldof and Bono are legitimising its power.

“Hackers bombard financial networks”, the Financial Times reported on Thursday. Government departments and businesses “have been bombarded with a sophisticated electronic attack for several months.” It is being organised by an Asian criminal network, and is “aimed at stealing commercially and economically sensitive information.” By Thursday afternoon, the story had mutated. “G8 hackers target banks and ministries”, said the headline in the Evening Standard. Their purpose was “to cripple the systems as a protest before the G8 summit.” The Standard advanced no evidence to justify this metamorphosis.

This is just one instance of the reams of twaddle about the dark designs of the G8 protesters codded up by the corporate press. That the same stories have been told about almost every impending public protest planned in the past 30 years and that they have invariably fallen apart under examination appears to present no impediment to their repetition. The real danger at the G8 summit is not that the protests will turn violent – the appetite for that pretty well disappeared in September 2001 – but that they will be far too polite.

Let me be more precise. The danger is that we will follow the agenda set by Bono and Bob Geldof.

The two musicians are genuinely committed to the cause of poverty reduction. They have helped secure aid and debt relief packages worth billions of dollars. They have helped to keep the issue of global poverty on the political agenda. They have mobilised people all over the world. These are astonishing achievements, and it would be stupid to disregard them.

The problem is that they have assumed the role of arbiters: of determining on our behalf whether the leaders of the G8 nations should be congratulated or condemned for the decisions they make. They are not qualified to do so, and I fear that they will sell us down the river.

Take their response to the debt relief package for the world’s poorest countries that the G7 finance ministers announced ten days ago. Anyone with a grasp of development politics who had read and understood the ministers’ statement could see that the conditions it contains – enforced liberalisation and privatisation – are as onerous as the debts it relieves. But Bob Geldof praised it as “a victory for the millions of people in the campaigns around the world”, and Bono pronounced it “a little piece of history.” Like many of those – especially the African campaigners I know – who have been trying to highlight the harm done by such conditions, I feel betrayed by these statements. Bono and Geldof have made our job more difficult.

I understand the game they’re playing. They believe that praising the world’s most powerful men is more persuasive than criticising them. The problem is that in doing so they turn the political campaign developed by the global justice movement into a philanthropic one. They urge the G8 leaders to do more to help the poor. But they say nothing about ceasing to do harm.

It is true that Bono has criticised George Bush for failing to deliver the money he promised for AIDS victims in Africa. But he has never, as far as I can discover, said a word about the capture of that funding by “faith-based groups”: the code Bush uses for fundamentalist Christian missions which preach against the use of condoms. Indeed, Bono seems to be comfortable in the company of fundamentalists. Jesse Helms, the racist, homophobic former senator who helped engineer the switch to faith-based government, is, according to his aides “very much a fan of Bono.” This is testament to the singer’s remarkable powers of persuasion. But if people like Helms are friends, who are the enemies? Is exploitation something that just happens? Does it have no perpetrators?

This, of course, is how George Bush and Tony Blair would like us to see it. Blair speaks about Africa as if its problems are the result of some inscrutable force of nature, compounded only by the corruption of its dictators. He laments that “it is the only continent in the world over the past few decades that has moved backwards”. But he has never acknowledged that – as even the World Bank’s studies show  – it has moved backwards partly because of the neoliberal policies it has been forced to follow by the powerful nations: policies that have just been extended by the debt relief package Bono and Geldof praised. Listen to these men – Bush, Blair and their two bards – and you could forget that the rich nations had played any role in Africa’s accumulation of debt, or accumulation of weapons, or loss of resources, or collapse in public services, or concentration of wealth and power by unaccountable leaders. Listen to them, and you would imagine that the G8 was conceived as a project to help the world’s poor.

I have yet to read a statement by either rock star which suggests a critique of power. They appear to believe that a consensus can be achieved between the powerful and the powerless, that they can assemble a great global chorus of rich and poor to sing from the same sheet. They do not seem to understand that, while the G8 maintains its grip on the instruments of global governance, a shared anthem of peace and love is about as meaningful as the old Coca-Cola ad.

The answer to the problem of power is to build political movements which deny the legitimacy of the powerful and seek to prise control from their hands: to do, in other words, what people are doing in Bolivia right now. But Bono and Geldof are doing the opposite: they are lending legitimacy to power. From the point of view of men like Bush and Blair, the deal is straightforward: we let these hairy people share a platform with us, we make a few cost-free gestures, and in return we receive their praise and capture their fans. The sanctity of our collaborators rubs off on us. If the trick works, the movements ranged against us will disperse, imagining that the world’s problems have been solved. We will be publicly rehabilitated, after our little adventure in Iraq and our indiscretions at Bagram and Guantanamo Bay. The countries we wish to keep exploiting will see us as their friends rather than their enemies.

At what point do Bono and Geldof call time on the leaders of the G8? At what point does Bono stop pretending that George Bush is “passionate and sincere” about world poverty , and does Geldof stop claiming that he “has actually done more than any American president for Africa”? At what point does Bono revise his estimate of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown as “the John and Paul of the global development stage” or as leaders in the tradition of Keir Hardie and Clement Attlee? How much damage do Bush and Blair have to do before the rock stars will acknowledge it?

Geldof and Bono’s campaign for philanthropy portrays the enemies of the poor as their saviours. The good these two remarkable men have done is in danger of being outweighed by the harm.

By George Monbiot.


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The phone rings,

The phone rings but nobody is there. Is it due to fear or is it because they can't face the truth? Did they suddenly change their mind? Perhaps they simply forgot what they were going to say. Who rang anyway? A person? The world? Or nobody? Or nobody important?
And sometimes I ring people, but nobody is there. But they are there. Are they fearful of the truth? Or of their own lies? Then again are these their own lies or simply somebody elses lies put to them through tissue paper and a comb. Perhaps it's hereditary, I certainly hope it isn't catching! Some say "the woman is only as big as the lies she tells", others say "she is only as weak as the truths she doesn't tell".
When the phone rings sometimes it is easier to lose sight of the truth, of your spray-on thinly veneered persona of convenience, and so nobody answers. There may not even be anybody there. Perhaps they went into town and left the lies behind. A sort of virtual untruth answering machine that serves only, they think, to perpetuate the myth and to hide the truth. In reality it shows the truth more than it hides it. Like those who publicly despise mobile phones but privately rush to buy one at the earliest convenience. They even lie to those they openly admit to lying to. They lie about which lies are the truth and which truths are lies. Eventually the truths become lies and the lies become truths.
Perhaps even they went into town and left the truth behind like a dog parted from its master. Sometimes the dog is left alone so long it doesn't recognise its master anymore. Sometimes the master doesn't even recognise the dog.
Sometimes when the phone rings there IS somebody there.... and then I wish there wasn't. Like a place visited which never really lived up to its expectations but which you had told everyone was so brilliant that you couldn't possibly admit to being wrong about it. So you hide the truth. Its not a lie though, not a lie you tell anyone. It is, however a lie to yourself, and then a lie to others because the truth is that to lie so truthfully the truth must in itself be a lie.
Sometimes the phone rings and it's a wrong number, and then a stranger says "sorry". Which is the truth. So the strangers tell the truth, and those you know tell the lies. 

My phone rang today. A voice at the other end said "If you want the truth then you have to dial the wrong number."

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Albert wears the trousers

If I wanted two new tyres on the Ragsmobile I probably wouldn't pop round to see my mate Albert. At the same time, and no offence intended, if I wanted a discussion on epistemological problems in atomic physics I probably wouldn't be jumping on the first bus down to the local Kwik-Fit. I wouldn't expect a bus driver to be a whizz at portrait painting, but I also wouldn't expect Van Gogh to ask me "how far do you expect to get on fifteen pence and would you like some sunflowers to go with your no standing on the top oi sonny mind your manners next stop Rackhams it'll be a starry night over The Rhone if i catch you messing with the almond blossom".

So have you ever wondered why Bob Dylan became a singer/songwriter ? Nor me !


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Saturday, June 11, 2005
So you hate the "Crazy Frog"

"Crazy Frog" they shout at me as i walk by, ignorant in their own way to the working of a man's psyche. Oblivious to my feelings and my desires.
"Crazy Frog" they laugh in my face without regard to the truth. Well Crazy Frog is too proud to lie down and be walked over, too nice to be abused, too pure to be sullied ...

Oh bollocks ... just shoot the Crazy Frog .

Comedy is timing, but sometimes timing can be comedy .

So i was sitting waching TV last night with my new best friend Ludwig Van (no relation to Transit Van he says) and he was more than a little miffed about Britney (some wannabee local spray-on plastic chav type disease apparently). Apparently they had the same manager but old Ludwig hasn't received any royalty cheques for ages now. I told him he had my deepest sympathies. "you cheeky sod", he replied "i wrote them all myself" .. so i thought it best to turn the TV down a little. Anyroads, he reckons if he isn't going to make any money from them anymore he may as well give them away for free .

Just a passing mention to Mr Fats , my friend, my confidante, my sometime inspiration,  my occasional motivation, and my permanent reminder of many many things which in the deepest hours are easily forgotten.

More tomorrow, and most days ... i promise.

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who would have thought it eh ?

Who would have thought it ?
Finally it's come to this !
No more hiding places. no more excuses, no more reasons.

I admit it. I stand up in front of the whole world and say unreservedly...

I NEED TO BLOG AGAIN !





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Wednesday, December 31, 2003
flu flu flu flu

Flu Flu Flu
Flu Flu Flu
Flu Flu Flu Flu Flu Flu Flu
Flu Flu Flu
Flu Flu Flu
Bloody Flu Bloody Flu
Flu Flu Flu Flu
Flu Flu Flu
Flu Flu Flu
Flu Flu Flu
I hate
Bloody Flu.

Posted at 06:28 pm by Rags        click here to rate me highly on BlogHop
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Monday, December 29, 2003
Don't read my Blog today

Busy busy busy day today.

First one of the kids from the orphanage came back (see below). Apparently the batteries in the shower radio I gave him have run out already which is a bit of a scandal to say the least. Of course I apologised profusely to him and gave him the £20 that batteries now apparently cost for such things. I hope he wasn't too angry with me. Poor mite.

Someone who IS angry with me is my personal dietician /trainer /hygienist /physiotherapist /masseuse /reflexoligist. Apparently I've overdone it on the old Pringles this Xmas. Not to worry though I can always turn the cans into cameras . I should point out for visitors to this site from America that I'm not sure if you have Pringles in the USA - and if you do they might well be called something else (probably breakfast, dinner and tea !! ).

Not that I have any of those people above really, which is why Lard, my cat, steps in when needed. He says extra blinking is on the cards for a fortnight. Not sure if I can handle that sort of exhausting exercise regime though.

One thing I do suffer from is unsightly hair. It just appears from nowhere every day I don't have a shave. Never mind though, I might nick someones credit card and book myself an appointment for Satellite Laser Hair Removal . Thanks to a joint effort by NASA and the Defense Department, satellite laser technology has finally been put to good use. I simply enter my precise geographic co-ordinates and a valid credit card number, and the procedure will begin as soon as an available hair removal satellite passes overhead.


Rather than reading my Blog though you should be playing at Tiny Grow 'cos to be honest that's where I've been for the last hour. Fascinating!

Tomorrow I shall show you another genius.... and not the one who lives in my loft either!


Monday's RagTags
<<< Does your credit card stretch to an aircraft carrier?
<<< 190 people hospitalised after contact with sharp leaves
<<< Ziggy Stardust costume gallery
<<< CDs make crap presents

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Sunday, December 28, 2003
Me and my shadow

There's a tradition at Christmas in our town. Well just in my area of town apparently. To be more specific, there's a tradition at Christmas at my house.

On Boxing Day some local children who are, they tell me, from the local orphanage come and visit me. You know, the local orphanage just 5 miles down the road. Well, down the road and into another road I've never heard of. But anyway I respect these kids for keeping this tradition going year after year. It says a lot about them and their sense of responsibility to the weak and helpless, like myself, in today's harsh society.

Anyway, I digress, this tradition has been going on for at least 150 years, though I have only lived here for the last five years.
One by one the children knock my door, and ask how many presents I got for Xmas. (This year I got six). Whoever got the most presents, me or them, has to give the other one of his presents. That way it makes sure that the poor kids and me get the same number of presents ... I think.

Anyway this year, none of the kids got any presents, and now neither do I have any. Which is fair.
I'd hate to think I was getting nice things whilst others were going without.



Sunday's RagTags

<<<<<< 19th Century Medical Curios

<<<<<< Befuddle’s Drunken Females

<<<<<< Monobrow celebrates the single-eyebrowed

<<<<<< The corporations that supplied Iraq

<<<<<< Diego Maradona's missing penis

<<<<<< Homeless? Here’s your bus ticket !


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Thursday, December 25, 2003
Celebs tell Queenie to shove it

Thanks, but no thanks...


David Bowie

Albert Finney

David Hockney

John Cleese

Jon Snow

Ken Loach

Roald Dahl

Graham Greene

John le Carré

Robert Graves

Francis Bacon

Aldous Huxley

Evelyn Waugh

J B Priestley

Anthony Powell

Philip Larkin

Trevor Howard

Alastair Sim

Benjamin Zephaniah

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

J.G. Ballard

Claire Tomalin

Nigella Lawson

Doris Lessing

Alan Bennett

Kenneth Branagh

Helen Mirren

Michael Frayn

John Cole

Neil MacGregor

Richard Lambert

Jim Broadbent

Honor Blackman

Vanessa Redgrave

Dawn French

Jennifer Saunders

George Melly

Lucian Freud

Bernie Ecclestone

Humphrey Lyttleton

have ALL demonstrated their opposition to the honours system by turning down knighthoods, CBEs and other “gongs”,

Daddy of them all though, and overall winner, is the artist L. S. Lowry who turned down five separate awards, including a knighthood, a CBE and an OBE.

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